Friendships Part 2 – Choosing Healthy Friendships. The Inner Circle.
This reminds me of the ratchet reality TV shows I’m fascinated with. Yes, these shows are awful, but it also shows me what ugly looks like from the outside looking in. It is very easy to get caught up in situations and very hard to take a step back to assess the situation while you’re knee-deep in it. The one thing a few of them seem to have in common is the proverbial Inner Circle. They always seem to expect loyalty from those who are members of this Inner Circle. They cuss, fight and scheme on respective friends if they come close infiltrating this make-believe bond.
At the workplace, there are cliques; however the same kind of ratchetness goes on. Cubical gossips, whispering and sometimes sabotage. I’m quite sure these type of gang affiliations go on everywhere from kindergarten to church; from sports teams to the boardroom.
Here’s my take on it– I read an excerpt of John C Maxwell’s A Leader’s Inner Circle and it made me think of some of the horror stories I can write about around the topic of friendships. Going forward, I’m going to have a vetting process when forming friendship bonds. In the past I’ve been incredibly open and inviting of too many people who are not trying to appreciate and embrace how I consciously like to keep myself moving forward.
Below, Dr. Maxwell asks five questions to Leaders as they choose their professional Inner Circle. How I correlate what he’s saying in terms of leadership, is that I’m the leader of my choice of friends not as in I’m the Leader of my friends.
Questions to Ask of Candidates for Your Inner Circle:
1. Do they display exemplary character in everything they do? Malicious gossip can quickly become the catalyst of any circle of friends. Beware of the evil tongue among men.
2. Do they bring complementary gifts to the table? Mental stimulation is key for me. I need to be around friends who can enlighten my understanding of how God and the Universe have inspired them to be their best even when they were at their worst.
3. Do they hold a strategic position and have influence within the organization? Is, said friend, trustworthy and reliable?
4. Do they add value to the organization and to the leader? As friends get to know one another, they should definitely gain an understanding of their respective core values and hold each other accountable– this ways you’ll have your expectations established without misunderstandings intentions.
5. Do they positively impact other members of the inner circle? My thoughts around this is the same as the above.
I think I’ve gained a better understanding of whom I should choose to be in my Inner Circle and who needs to be removed. I will anxiously await to hear Dr. Charles Stanley’s sermon next Sunday’s on how to deal with the difficult people we call friends.